Nope I’m not crazy and no I don’t have a total junker. I bought a brand new Highlander Hybrid and have not washed it in over two years. Not once, never will.
Unless you primary use your car to procure dates, here’s why you shouldn’t you’re your car either:
1) Brushless, lamb-soft chamois, no touch power washers - doesn’t matter. When you remove dirt cleaning to the surface of your paint you are dragging grit across the surface of your paint no matter how short of a distance. Try to brush off fiberglass fibers from your arm with out pushing a single piece into your skin. Almost impossible. What would be better, covering your hood with sand and blowing it off ten years from now or do it over and over again hundreds of times?
2) Any dirt restricts the amount of sun and wind that beats on the surface of your paint. Any dirt on your car act both as sunscreen and minor shield from airborn abrasives.

The story. I work with a guy with an incredible flatulence problem. Really bad, eggy and cabbagey in a confided office. Among his quirks, he had a Dirk Diggler pimp Corvette covered with mud almost completely. Gross, really gross. Fart man announces that he’s selling his Vette for.... for... eh - I forgot because I didn’t like him. Anyway he was selling in and needed to take it to a car wash . The next morning in the parking lot sat a 1973 yellow Corvette that looked like it just rolled out of a museum for farting Corevette drivers. I’m not a car guy but it was AMAZING.
That was it. So I don’t wash my car but I will leave the room if I have to pass gas.