Bring Your Equipment
Unknown
A robber walks into a store handing the cashier a note saying"Put all the money in a paper sack." The cashierrights back"I don't have a paper sack." Then the robber just walked out of the store feeling stupid and eventually got arrested.


Less Than Before
Unknown
A man walked into a convenience stores and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, asking for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the robber pulled out a gun, demanding all the cash in the register. Quickly, the clerk acquiesced and the man fled, leaving the twenty on the counter. The total amount of money he got from the cash register was less than fifteen dollars.


What He Should Have done
Oklahoma City, OK
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manage testified that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, " I should have blown your f***ing head off" The defendant paused then added "If I had been the one that was there." The jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty and recommended a sentence of thirty years.


Hot Weapons
Trenton, New Jersey
Carl Rankin, 35, is awarded with using the most original weapon in a robbery. Ranking allegedly threw a cup of hot coffee at the face of a clerk, reached into the register, grabbed the cash, and made his getaway. He was later arrested.


Running Low
Unknown
A bevy of thieves thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline.


The Club
Rochester, New York
John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32, was attaching The Club, to her steering wheel, Schieman made his move. Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with robbery, assault, and grand larceny.


Security Camera
Unknown
One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. After he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window from whence he came, the robber panicked. Realizing he was going to bleed to death if he did not get help, he located a phone and dialed 911. The rest, as they say, is history.


911
Unknown
A man from the town of Grand Forks, North Dakota, decided to travel to Fargo so that he could rob the First Community Bank. The criminal quickly scribbled a note demanding money and gave it to the teller. Frightened, she gave the man what he asked for and watched him run out of the door. Police were called and searches of the surrounding area turned up nothing. Upon reviewing the ransom note, it was noted that the message had been written on the perpetrator's bank deposit slip. Police traveled to the man's house and arrested him on his front porch.


ID Badges
Long Beach, CA
During their lunch hour, several employees of a large aerospace company decide to rob a bank. The group figured the police would never look for them at the plant. Of course, being dumb criminals, they forgot to removed their ID badges during the robbery.


No License
Durham City, England
In England a gang hired a man to drive their getaway car for a series of bank robberies. As the gang came fleeing out of the first bank with several bags of money, the man panicked, causing the car to stall. Police arrived in minutes as the man desperately tried to get the car to start. In court, it was revealed that not only did the man not have a driver's license, he had never operated a vehicle before.


Miscalculation
France
Recently in France, two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom.
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Bus Fare
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Two young larcenists in Florida--14 and 15 to be exact--appeared before Judge Larry Seidlin after stealing their twenty-fifth car in just two short years. After the boys were released, they walked out of the courthouse and realized they did not have bus fare for a ride home. Promptly, the duo stole number twenty-six; they crashed the vehicle into a fence less than an hour later.


Do I Hear One Dollar?
Unknown
A trio of men decided to commit a bank robbery. The group tried to enter, but got stuck in the revolving doors. Frustrated, they left and returned a few minutes later. This time, they penetrated the doors and announced their intentions to take ten thousand dollars. Remembering them from a few minutes earlier, customers and employees of the bank laughed hysterically, thinking it was a joke. The men thought that people were laughing because they were demanding too much money. Eventually, the men reduced the amount of money they wished to take to one thousand dollars. When that didn't work, they demanded one hundred dollars. Soon, the men were demanding one dollar each. When the laughter continued, one of the men became angry. He jumped atop the counter and pulled a gun on the teller; he fell and broke his leg. The other two man decided to get away while it was safe. They, however, once again got stuck in the revolving doors.


Drive Through Robbery
Unknown
One man thought a good way to rob a bank and not get caught was through the drive through. Pulling up to the window, he wrote the teller a note, demanding money. The man even went as far as to holding up a knife. Laughing hysterically, the woman called the police and the suspect was eventually apprehended.


Just A Bit Over Weight
Washington State
In Washington, an obese man decided to rob a bank. Weighing more than three hundred pounds, the man went into the bank and announced his intentions. The tellers handed the money over and the man promptly exited the bank. However, he had not planned well enough to have a getaway car. Running from the bank, the large man soon tired and had to pause for a break. While resting, the man was handcuffed and arrested by the bank security guard.


Shaving Cream
New Orleans, Louisiana
Louisiana just may win the award for having the world's dumbest bank robbers. The would be criminal entered the bank and . several thousand dollars. In an attempt to quickly escape, the man ran into a glass door. Though he made it out, he left half of his mask behind on the door. Not having the money to buy a traditional mask, the man had covered his face with a bottle of shaving cream. The suspect was arrested a few minutes later--half of his face still covered.


ATM Trouble
Unknown
Two men decided to be original and rob an automatic teller machine rather than the bank. So, the two tied a rope to the machine and to their pickup truck. After they managed to get the machine out of the wall, they loaded it, along with all of the money, and covered it all with a tarp. The duo failed to realized that all ATMs have security cameras. Soon, the police were chasing the two. Stupidly, the men pulled over and claimed that they had a washing machine on the back of the truck.
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How To Get Home Quick
Kentucky
An inebriated teen decided to take the family car to the local convenience store in an attempt to buy some more spirits. After owners of the store would not give the boy what he wanted, he left the store only to find that the car would not start. Knowing that he would be in serious trouble if he did not quickly get home, the boy stole the police car a few yards from him. As he is driving home in the cruiser, a police officer spotted the boy and turn on his sirens. Not wanting to upset the officer, the boy pulled over. He was quickly placed under arrest and taken to the local jail.


Don't Mess With Granny
Unknown
An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.
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Look Who Is Beside You
Unknown
A man went into a convenience store and bought a bottle of beer. Standing at the counter to pay, he tells the clerk to give him all the money she has. Standing next to him was a uniformed police officer.

I'm 21!!!
Unknown
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later.


Got Change?
Unknown
A man was arrested and charged the robbery--of vending machines. The man posted bail, entirely in quarters.


Caught Red Hatted
Unknown
Known as the Red Hat Bandit, a man robbed sixty-seven convenience stores wearing the same red hat. When he was finally caught, he had on the same red hat. He was convicted of all sixty-seven robberies.


Jacket Giveaway
Flint, Michigan
A man in a hooded jacket approached a gas station clerk with a gun and demanded all the money. The clerk complied. When the robber returned to his home, police were there waiting. The jacket the man wore during the hold up was his high school varsity jacket. It had his full name and year he graduated.


Idiot With A Gun
Virginia
A man walked into his local convenience store and placed a gun on the cashier's temple. The man demanded all the money, which he received, and then left. On his way out, the thief shot himself in the arm.
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Running Cars Without Keys
Columbus, Georgia
A man decided he wanted to be quick, so he jumped out of his car, ran in the store and demanded the money. After getting about two hundred dollars, he ran back out to his car. He realized that he had left his car running. He also realized that he had locked the doors.


Hand Signals
Topeka Kansas
A convenience store a car had driving by south bound on California Ave. The driver honked so naturally I looked and saw the passenger flicking me off. Naturally pride comes into play here so they were pulled over by the police. The driver asked what was the reason for the stop, and it was explained to him the passenger made an illegal arm signal as ordinance states all hand signals shall be done from the drivers side window (referring to turning, stopping slowing hand signals). Then they asked the passenger for identification to write him the citation, while doing so, I checked him for warrants, and he was wanted for armed robbery on the West Coast. He then was arrested and extradited back to California.


Give It Back
Indiana
After learning a store manager had found a bag of marijuana, a man rushed into the store. He demanded it be returned to him as he had dropped it earlier. After trying to get the man to leave for several hours, police were called. The man was hauled off to jail. The marijuana and a tape of the whole incident were turned over as evidence.


Remember To Say Thank You
Unknown
A man walked into a 7-11 and demanded all the money. He politely said thank you and walked out, forgetting the money. When he returned a few minutes later to get the money, he was quickly arrested.


Subpoenas Reveal All
Unknown
A masked bandit went into a gast station intending to rob it. Not wanting reveal his voice, he wrote a note to a cashier demanding all the money. As the man had a gun, the cashier had no choice. When the suspect left, the cashier looked on the back of the paper. It was the man's subpoena; it contained his name, address, and phone number.

The Fresh Fallen Snow
Old Bridge New Jersey
In the middle of a blizzard, a New Jersey high school student decided it would be a good idea to rob the local 7-11. He walked to the store with a gun and stole $50. He walked back to his home, which was less than a mile away. The police followed the footprints to the young man's front door and arrested him.


15 Dollars
Louisiana
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 dollar bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 dollar bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer was fifteen dollars.


Positive ID
New York
As a woman exited her local convenience store, her pursed was snatched by a fleeting man. The clerk promptly called 911 and the woman gave a detailed description of the suspect. Within minutes, the police apprehended the alleged snatcher. They took him back to the store and told him to stand there for a positive ID. The man did as was told and said: "Yes officer, that's the woman I stole the purse from."


Trail Of Coins
Unknown
Two men assaulted a convenience store runner. Rather than demanding money, the took the whole cash drawer. As they ran, the did not realized they were leaving a trail of coins. A few hours later, police followed the trail and arrested the two men.


Hey I Am 18
Unknown
An 18-year-old man was charged with robbing a 7-11. When he walked in, pulled a gun a demanded money, the employee didn't panic. She calmly said, "I don't think you're old enough to be robbing us. Don't you have to be at least 16?" The thief then proceeded to pull out his wallet and showed the clerk his driver's license. The clerk quickly memorized the information on the license, than gave the thief the money. The cops arrested the robber at his home.
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Small Town
Illinois
In a small town of 1700, a student attempted to rob the local convenience store wearing his letterman's jacket. He did not realize that he was the only male named Dana in the whole town.


Holes In Pockets
Belmont, New Hampshire
In Belmont, New Hampshire a teenager robbed the local convenience store. Getting away with a pocket full of change, the boy walked home. He did not realize, however, that he had holes in both of his pockets. A trail of quarters and dimes led police directly to his house.


Pick Pocket
Unknown
A man robbed a convenience store. As he was waiting for the cashier to put all of the money in the bag, he got greedy and decided to steal the wallet of the man standing next to him. In an attempt to pick the man's pocket, he placed his shotgun on the counter. The cashier quickly grabbed the weapon and shot at the suspect for fled from the scene. He was arrested a few days later.


Paper Or Plastic
Unknown
A robber walking into a convenience store a demanded all the money. The cashier noticed he did not have a bag so she instinctively asked "Paper or Plastic?" The thief replied paper and left the store--without the bag.


Over The Fence
Unknown
After robbing a convenience store, two teen-age boys were chased by a group of police. Desperately trying to escape, the boys climbed over a high chain-link fence. The cops chose not to follow, but they did notify the authorities inside. The boys had climbed into the state correctional facility.
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Batteries
Unknown
Figuring they could sell parts on the black market, two men broke into an auto shop and stole six batteries and five carburetors. As the two were making their getaway, their car broke down. The duo called a tow truck and were immediately reported by the driver. It was later found out that the car broke down because the battery had died.


Ring Ring
Unknown
A woman reported her missing car to the police and mentioned that the car had a phone. The police officer taking the report called the phone. He told the man that answered that he had read the ad in the paper and was interested in buying the car. The two arranged to meet and the thief was promptly arrested.


Hole'e Truck
Milwaukee
In Milwaukee a man decided to break into a garage and steal on the of the business's popular pickup trucks. Not able to pick the lock, they blasted it away with a shotgun. Once inside, the man decided that he did not want the truck anymore because it was somehow full of bullet holes.


Long Drop
Detroit
A place called Cartrian, owned by a former police chief, housed his collection of vintage Cars and his Lionel Train collection, all heavily insured. Besides having all the doors and windows censored, the place also had afire detection system (due to the value of the collection) and this was deemed adequate by all concerned parties, until a burglar entered the place through a small vent on the roof. Now this ceiling is some 20 feet above the floor, so the burglar, naturally, took a nasty fall. This was more then enough for our valiant friend and proceeded to try every door in an attempt to escape his humiliation. Nope, every door was locked. So, he set off the fire alarm and was arrested when the fire department arrived. When the security guy arrived the next day (to censor the vents and add motion detectors) they were still cleaning it all up. It seems he left a trail of blood: all over the car he landed in and from door to door to door as he hobbled along trying to escape.


Really Gotta Go
Gainesville, Georgia
Charged with speeding, this Gainesville man made his appearance in court. Though he was reportedly going ninety in a twenty-five zone, the man plead innocent. He told the judge that he had taken a laxative and was thus in a rush to get home.
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Wait Your Turn!
Westerly, RI
One night 10 teens decided that it would be a good idea to sit on the back of a post office and smoke a bowl of marijuanna. While one of the teens were taking a hit on the bowl a person walked behind her and tried to take the bowl away. "Wait your turn" she yelled."I don't think i have to" the officer replied. All ten teens were arrested with possion of marijuanna on federal property,and tresspassing on federal property.


Cut Wrong
South Carolina
An angry man walked into his local police station and threw a bag of cocaine on the counter. He told the desk sergeant that it was a substandard cut and demanded that dealer he bought it form be arrested.


You Mean You Had To Lift The Hood?
San Antonio, Texas
Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic found eighteen packages of marijuana packed in the engine compartment of the car. The woman, who had taken her car in for an oil change said that she did not realize he would have to lift the hood to get the job done.


No Warrant
Pontiac, Michigan
Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need a warrant because a bulge in Johns's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his composure.


Lower Bail
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Accused of selling drugs, Howard Jones's attorney sought to lower his client's bail from $150,000 insisting that Jones would not think about fleeing. At that very instant, Jones sprinted out of the front door of the courtroom. He was caught fifty minutes later and his bail was raised to $500,000.
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Cigarettes and Joints
New Jersey
New Jersey Trooper Glenn Lubertazzi stopped a car for speeding and began asking the three passengers routine questions. When of the them got a cigarette from them glove compartment, the officer noticed that the pack contained a marijuana joint. A search of the car turned up $32,000 of drug money and several pounds of marijuana.


Settled Scores
Washington DC
Two men called the local television station and said they had a score to settle with President Clinton. They swore to cut him from ear to ear. The Secret Service was called in. After tracing the call, the Service went to the men's homes where they discovered 200 marijuana plants. The men were charged with both crimes.


Dumb Criminal's Mother
Unknown
Police officer questioned a drug dealer's mother after her son was already in custody. The police wanted to know why the woman had thirty-thousand dollars in the glove compartment of her truck. The woman said she was saving it to put a prosthetic leg for her son. Her son, had both legs; he had used them to run from the police earlier that day.


Golf Trip
England
A German tourist supposedly on vaction showed up to customs with his golf bag. While making conversation about golf, the customs official realized that the man did not know what a handicap was. The official then ask the man to demonstrate his swing; the man swung the club backwards. Quickly grabbing the golf bag, officials discovered a substantial amount of heroine and marijuana.


Gas Company
Mexico
A group of drug traffickers cleverly decided to use a propane tanker to cross the border from Mexico to El Paso, Texas. They released the propane and concealed within the truck 6,240 pounds of marijuana. The men did not realize, however, that they had misspelled the name of the gas company.